Never in my life have I expected grief or any type of pain to be a reoccuring thing, but it should be assumed I suppose. Ive never been good at handling these types of situations and I usually do the extreme in an attempt to get away from the feeling and its source. I flee. Im not sure why that is the case but it is my reaction and Im not sure why that is.
Ive never really understood the reaction I have towards certain situations and its just the way it goes. My life keeps on going and I dont know much about the reason I let things get to me, but it does. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I put my focus into things that dont deserve my attention. Who knows... I dont.
My life is an up and down type of flow and side to side for that matter. Ive never had full control, but who really does? I like to think I do, but again, its an illusion that we all enjoy. I miss things I shouldnt and I hate things I should miss... Its the human condition and there is not much we can do about unless we turn into to frogs.
Love, work, children, finances, travel, materialism, sex, alcohol, freedom. All of it is an illusion that we feed ourselves. None of it really is there or created we just like to trick ourselves into thinking that because there is nothing else that we can live for otherwise and that is a hard pill to swallow. We work, so much of our lives to do what, pay for the things we dont NEED. Food, shelter, water are needs. Comforts, education, entertainment are all wants... We can survive without.
Find what you live and do it full time. Be free to love and laugh and play and learn. Dont hold back, dont stiffle any part of yourself. Be good and keep on keeping on.
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